A pirate arrives by motorboat to crash a high society costume ball in 1976 Florida and winds up abandoning his only son, Morgan, for a prison sentence in screenwriter Thomson’s beguiling, energetic debut. Flash forward to 2004 Miami, where Vail & Co. accountant Morgan feels scarred from a cheerless childhood with an insensitive foster family. But then Isaac, newly freed from prison, resurfaces to regale Morgan with the story of $42.7 million worth of gold ingots he’d smuggled decades earlier from the rival Hood family of the Caribbean’s Sugar Islands. And by the way, Isaac tells the baffled Morgan, your real last name is Cooke, “as in the great Pirates Cooke.”  “Borrowing” Morgan’s company’s yacht, enthusiastic father drugs reluctant son and sets off with treasure map in hand. They must fend off Vail & Co. crooks and a succession of deadly pirates led by the revenge-hungry Lafitte brothers. The father-son epic quest finds them jail-breaking, boat-stealing, cannonball-dodging and male-bonding on their way to Booty Island's treasure (with assistance from plucky maiden Polly and an alcoholic talking parrot, Captain Roy). Crowned with buccaneer vernacular, plenty of colorful extras and a feel-good ending, it’s a vivid adventure tale befitting the high seas of Hollywood.—Publishers Weekly 


Review in THE OREGONIAN:

Matey, if you spy these pirates, you're in for a madcap adventure

Beware, mateys, there be pirates in these waters.

And they're funny.

Pirate stories tend to be tales of swashbuckling adventure, derring-do and romance, and "Pirates of Pensacola" by Keith Thomson, is all of these. But rarely are pirate adventures so laugh-out-loud funny.

This is the time of year when the days get longer, the nights warmer, and we find ourselves wondering what we're doing in some cramped cubicle in an airless office, or stuck in steamy, bumper-to-bumper traffic. It's too bad we can't escape and have a real adventure.

Or can we?

Morgan Cooke is the most boring man you'd never want to meet, a low-level accountant in a huge, multinational firm, dreaming of a nice house in the suburbs just like all the other houses in the suburbs. Then his ne'er-do-well father, Isaac, shows up out of nowhere -- well, not nowhere, but jail to be precise -- and opens a new world to him.

Morgan, it turns out, is last in a line of famous pirates, and there's a treasure to be recovered -- $45 million in buried gold. But a rival pirate family is hot in pursuit. Morgan is dragged along on an adventure that involves a stolen map, a parrot in need of AA, a dusky wench in need of rescuing, crooked cops, mercenaries, a hilarious hunt through a bordello, and the ultimate tavern brawl.

Along the way he discovers that peg-legged pirates are the least of his worries. A pinstriped corporate buccaneer armed with lawyers and thugs can prove even more dangerous than the traditional eye-patched villain.

Will Morgan find the treasure, rescue the girl and make amends with his estranged father while discovering his inner pirate? Of course, he will! The ending will surprise no one, and it's not a shock when the good guys prevail and the bad 'uns get their comeuppance.

But that's not the point. It's how the pieces play out that is so delightful. The humor is confident, the madcap twists and turns skillfully executed at a breakneck pace, and the familiar story plays out to a delightful climax, with Morgan the accountant swinging from the rigging and wielding his rapier on the quarterdeck of a sinking ship.

With its various oceangoing lowlifes, swashbuckling heroics and quirky humor, "Pirates of Pensacola" reads like a collaboration between Robert Louis Stevenson, Dave Barry and Douglas Adams after a night on the town.

In our humdrum existence, "Pirates of Pensacola" offers hope.

There be pirates in these waters. Aarrr!

John Baur is one of the co-creators of the Web page www.talklikeapirate.com.